something disturbing bothered me last night. and it made me spend an hour sitting at my void deck trying to think of a solution. or maybe, i was expecting an impossible miracle. i know its dumb. and now that i think backwards, i feel dumb too. but at lease at that point of time, i was hopeful. and hope helps your emotions to soothen out. alot. but of course, following hope would either be happiness or disappointment. most of the time, its the latter. but who cares? there's always that pretty imaginary image of your boyfriend walking towards you with a brad pitt smile, kissing you on the forehead. however made up it is though, every girl's forever praying it'll happen at least once in her lifetime. so last night may be disappointing, but ive thought through this relationship jiaquan and ive pulled together. if we werent meant to be, it would have crashed long ago.